If You Litigate

1)  Your combined attorney's fees will be approximately $30,000 or more. You pay for discovery, delays, trials, as well as countless phone conversations between the attorneys.

2)  The outcome will be decided by a judge or commissioner.

3)  Your attorney will negotiate property and custody issues for you. You will be advised not to communicate directly with your spouse.

4)  All the filed declarations where you and your spouse make accusations against each other to gain advantage are public records available to anyone to view, even years later by your children and grand children.

5)  If custody is contested, the court will probably appoint a lawyer for your children and the lawyer will probably insist upon invasive psychological evaluations of the family.

6)  The Court will determine when you have custody of your children as well as what parenting plan you should use.

7)  The Division of Property will be based on:

How aggressive your lawyer is compared to the other lawyers,

The mood the judge is in,  Prescribed court schedules, Whether you or your spouse has more stamina for battle.

8)  Your divorce will follow the timetable determined by the needs of attorneys and the court.

 If you can't save the marriage, at least save the divorce. It may be that you need to give up moneys or property to make peace with your spouse.  Think before you throw away thousands of dollars, as well as the respect of your children, your spouse and perhaps that of the community just to get your way, or make a point.  Please, do the right thing for the sake of your family!

It is NOT our intention for any of the material presented on this document or anywhere on the DivorceOnTheWeb site to be considered as legal advice.  This is a "Non-lawyer" legal document preparation site and as such cannot provide legal services such as legal advice or legal representation.  Please consult an attorney if you have any questions concerning your legal rights.

             If You Cooperate with Your Spouse

1)  Your combined fees; paperwork preparation, paperwork review by consulting attorney,  and perhaps a mediator, will be less than $600.

2)  The outcome will be determined by you and your spouse.

3)  With the help of a neutral mediator, you will problem solve property and custody issues to design an agreement that works for you and your family.

4)  There are no filed declarations making accusations against each other. You maintain your good reputation. Even if you hire a mediator, the  process is confidential, and decisions are made in a private conference room.

5)  The two of you will determine what's in the best interests of your children.

6)  You can try out various parenting plans to see if they work. You can modify the plans as your children get older without returning to Court.

7)  The Division of Property will be based on:

How willing you and your spouse are to negotiate a fair settlement. If so, division of property and debt will be based on the best interest of the children, as well as the spouses.

8)  You decide how fast or slow you want the process to proceed. You and/or your spouse may not feel committed to the results because of a lack of participation in the process, bitterness fostered during the proceedings, or lack of fairness in the result. Child support, spousal support and parenting plans are more likely to be maintained when mutually decided. Even the most poised, self assured individuals can find themselves one of the walking wounded after experiencing a day of the antagonistic debilitating and emotionally draining experience of watching your spouse and yourself being torn to shreds in court. You will maintain your dignity. You will experience the challenge of working with your spouse to make the best of a bad situation.